Just a few mirrored thoughts from my friends in Jack's Mannequin

"And today was a day just like any other

I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge

Unraveling with ever word

With ever word you say, make me believe

That I won't feel your tires on the street

As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do

Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you

And every word you say, say somethings sweet

Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth

As I'm finding the words... you're getting away

I wake up to find it's another four aspirin morning and I dive in.

I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.

When did society decide that we had to change

And wash a tee shirt after every individual use?

If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.

I take the stairs to the car and there's fog on the windows.

(I'm fighting the words...)

I need caffeine in my blood stream,

I take caffeine in the blood stream

I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:

(And you're getting away...)

My life's become a boring pop song and everyone's singing along..."

"From an empty room on the first floor as the cars pass

I deconstruct my thoughts at this piano

And it's all I can do to stay with

All the things I didn't say to you

Before you moved across the country

And from the burning building where I lay

As I watch the stars become the day...

This fishbowl life is all they need

It's everything I needed too

Until I heard the news

I'll send this message through the speakers

they told me that you moved

I'll cross this country on a frequency

I'm slipping through, I'm slipping through

I'm slipping into the airwaves

And this is nothing new, you are slipping through my fingers

And into the airwaves

The static's where you'll find me...

Something's not right inside living with the news..."

"Sorrow last through this night

I'll take this piece of You

and hope for all eternity

For just one second I felt whole

As You flew right through me..."

Flyleaf

The mighty continents divided it

For a second time in all history

They found themselves just floating

Free from all responsibility

Without the weight of being whole

Some fruits evolved all on their own

But if you want something back

All the things that got cracked

When I felt like you lied to me

And all the million mistakes

And the kicks in the face

But I don't want you to die in me

So when you say what you want

That you need what you got

Don't forget to be kind to me

Now here's an apple with a tougher skin

While you've got your pretty scales and fins you say

See all the things that I can do

So perfectly my body grew but in

All the time you felt so free

Did you forget how much you once loved me

And if you want something back

All the things that got cracked

When I felt like you lied to me

And all the million mistakes

And the kicks in the face

But I don't want you to die in me

So when you say what you want

That you need what you got

Don't forget to be kind to me

I don't want you to die in me

Mirah

10 Things I hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots,

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick;

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate when you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Portrait d'une Femme

Your mind and you are our Sargasso Sea,

London has swept about you this score years

And bright ships eft you this or that in fee

Ideas, old gossip, oddments of all things,

Strange spars of knowledge and dimmed wares of price.

Great minds have sought you---Lacking somewhere else. 

You have been second always. Tragical?

No. You preferred it to the usual thing:

One dull man, dulling and uxorious,

One average mind---with one thought less, each year.

Oh, you are patient, I have seen you sit

Hours, where something might have floated up.

And now you pay one. Yes, you richly pay.

You are a person of some interest, one comes to you

And takes strange gain away.

Trophies fished up; some curious suggestion:

Fact that leads nowhere; and a tale or two,

Pregnant with mandrakes, or with something else

That might prove useful and yet never proves,

That never fits a corner or shows use,

Or finds its hour upon the loom of days:

The tarnished, gaudy, wonderful old work;

Idols and ambergris and rare inlays,

These are your riches, your great store; and yet

For all this sea-hoard of deciduous things,

Strange woods half sodden, and new brighter stuff:

In the slow float of differing light and deep,

No! there is nothing! In the whole and all,

Nothing that's quite your own.

Yet this is you.

-Ezra Pound

freck-le n. a small brownish spot on the skin, often turning darker or increasing in number upon exposure to the sun.

1.

I can hardly explain what you make me feel. If I could catch it in a jar and give it to you as a present, I'm not sure if I would. I understood early on that every part of me is something made perfect in the eyes of someone not yet seen. This pre-determined soul lies deep within the shadows of the unknown of my mentality. Slowly, the likeness of his profile becomes apparent. He'll take what's left of my war-torn sentiment, battered and threadbare, and hold it in the palm of his hands and fully heal it. Only to feel the love I hold, after he slowly flays the burned blotches left from those whom breached my heartstrings and left them to rot. 

"And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders..."

hope v. to look forward with desire and reasonable confidence; to believe, or trust.

2. 

I shivered, twice. Cold-blooded am I with trembling, frigid fingers that fumble lightly as they glide. The air is not warm, but neither does it bite. Like a purr of bumblebees, it flits and flees with no thoughts to that which it passes. The stars are lustrous and more beautiful when I am lounging beside your snug figure. Show me how to breathe easy. Teach me where to go from here. Your sweet eyes continuously ease my doubts. If I hand you my little heart, will you be there to show me affection? Could you decipher my troublesome mind? Would you show me how to live without troubles and hesitation?

"Believe there's gonna be love in all your pain..."

always adv. at all times; invariably; for all time; forever.

3.

I'm not pushing; I'm not pulling. I'm not reeling; I'm not straining. What I am doing is wishing you were here. Time easily becomes a figment of imagination when you stand next to me. It only happens involuntarily and I just wish I could canonize it and put it in a few pages. For the safety of my sanity, I can smile in wonder at the possibility that you duplicate my current condition. For love, while intangible, is not yet a figment of imagination, nor an idea. Love is true, real, and solid. As a rock sits on the ground, love lives in the air. The rocks may one day cry out just as the wind talks to us now, in whispers and whistles in the language of Providence. 

"The world has lost her way again, but you are here with me..."

"Stay or leave

I want you not to go

But you should

It was good, as good goes

Stay or leave

I want you not to go

But you did"

Dave Matthews.

Cover yourself with moonlight

My weary heart sings out

Balancing it's fervent suspicion

I'm immersing myself in your memory

Slowly our nights together begin to fade

It's not like I want them to

It's more like this:

I don't think I can handle it if you leave. I'll end what I've started, or what you started to tell the truth.

You've become too comfortable with me. You know me all too well. I don't like it, but I wouldn't have it any other way under any circumstances.

My mind twisted apart. I was on a high, an incredible climax in my night. Then you told me what you should have long ago. You're leaving... ... ... ... Again. I would honestly prefer I had never known. Ever. I would have been able to handle not seeing you ever again if I hadn't known. I. Would. Have. Been. Alright.

Now I'm not alright, and God knows if I ever will be.

My light is fading out as the fog rolls in with the rain.

My fragmenting mind is deftly composed of a orchestra warming up

Constantly moving, running, playing, screaming

It is not the rehearsal, but a pre-performance ritual

The blurred chaos bellows through my memory

It weaves with the strings of my soul

It jerks the cords of my heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xeSFO-PwPA&feature=relate

Secondhand Serenade-Suppose

Suppose that I missed you

Suppose that I care

And suppose that spent all my nights running scared

And suppose

That I was never there

In my eyes I'm screaming for a sight of you

And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through

And I can't hold on to you

So i guess I'll be lonely too

Suppose we were happy

Suppose it was true

And suppose there were cold nights but we found that waiting through

And suppose that I'm nothing without you

Slow way down

this break downs eating me alive

And I'm tired

This fire's fighting to survive

Tell me a secret

Tell me a story

I'll listen intensively

I'll stay awake at night

All of me is a whisper (So don't leave)

There's nothing left in me

Not even my body is strong enough to fight

Please help me make this right

Suppose I was wrong

Suppose you were here

And suppose that I reached out and caught your tears

And suppose this fight just disappeared

My eyes are screaming for the sight of you

And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through

And I can't hold on to you

So I guess I'll be lonely too

But I'd rather be here with you

I'm pretty sure Sherwood hit the nail on the head when they wrote their song, I'll Wait For You

All in a day,

See it for yourself,

I'll make no change,

When you are somewhere else,

And I'll write for you,

Every chance I get,

Tell me you'll listen,

And say you won't forget

And I'll never say I don't have time, when you need me with you,

I'll stand in line, if you want me to, and I'll wait for you,

I'll wait for you

Everyday,

See it for yourself,

I'll make no plans,

When you are somewhere else,

And I'll sing for you,

Songs that no one hears,

But tell me you'll listen, 

And say I'll have your ears

And if you have something to say,

Know I won't look away,

No, I won't look away,

I'll keep on waiting for you,

You'd wait for me, whoa

I'm alright.

I promise.

You came back. I always had a feeling you would. It places a smile in my heart, upon my face. It makes my nose tingle when you touch it. In the dark with the stars and the thickness of the air. You wanted to; you told me. It would have complicated things, and I know that. It was enough just to tell you in a truthful manner and set things straight. It has suddenly become apparent to me to what degree this situation intrigues me. This position that I've been put in is principal to me.

All I ever wanted was to stand by you; to hold my ground next to your warm, tall frame. My heart hammers so swiftly next to your steadily beating one. This feeling is so strange. I will not in any way try to comprehend what, why, or even how. Be it different than anything in the world, and so strong. I have faith that it could fill the hearts of so many people. Give them hope for another tomorrow. How amazing it has become so meaningful to my soul and my prosperity. 

I screamed. In a field. My sheer joy overflowed through my lungs and vocalic grooves. It gives me chills imagining those first nights, realizing how incredibly indescribable they have emerged as. I am elated with the thought that everything is settled, and how the encumbrance is lifted. I think you might truly understand me. I know I understand you; you told me.

I know you have to go. I understand it. It might be for the best, but all I want for you is your happiness and your fulfillment. Just know, my dear that I'm here to stay. 

The room is spinning around with nowhere for me to turn. I could choose the lesser of two evils, but I'm not sure which one would bring me less pain. I don't think you understand the concept here. I need you. I need you like the ground needs the summer rain. Like an addict's veins need the needle. I'm having withdrawals. I'm going crazy. My head doesn't work right. I can't think straight. I'm trying so desperately to keep my head above water; to stay afloat. I'm like a duck in a hurricane. My little webbed feet are reeling over and over again in the same pattern, and yet... it does not a bit of good. Not at all. I'm drowning. I'm slowly sinking. I need you to tell me where to go. This no longer rests in my hands. I need to give it up, but sacrifice is so much harder when it comes to this.

I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but it seems as if my thoughts have been straight, and I don't blog unless something is troubling me. I'm not a happy blogger... anyway... I'm back. Probably for awhile.

If Everything Fell Quiet (Reindeer Section)

Be my guide

Be my pilot

Be the breath on my face

Be the arms that can form it

Be the heart in my chest

This is the way I want you to begin my life

I couldn't face another night like that again

Be my hope, I'll be your hope

Be the hair that knots with my hair

Be the drink when I am thirsty

Be the hand to hold at night

This is the way I want you to begin my life

I couldn't face another night like that again

Reindeer Section- Your Sweet Voice

Your sweet voice, 

Lets me know there is a choice

Please me slow,

Much more slowly than that

And when we danced, 

We danced one cheek to cold cheek

A sideways glance

I knew you were looking at him

I can't call you a friend,

'Cause when you left me here, 

You left me here to die

Don't worry, I won't call you again,

'Cause when I take a hint,

I take it pretty hard

And when you broke my heart,

You broke it into shards of glass

The telephone yells out at me to wake,

I won't be blamed for someone else's mistakes

It's your sweet voice

Sounding cheery on the line

It breaks my heart,

As I ease up on the charm

Can I call you my friend?

'Cause it's been so long since we talked

And I miss you

Don't worry I'm over you right now,

So my feelings won't get in the way of it,

Oh, and I miss the way

We talked about the little things

You take my breath away... No matter what else happens, you always will.

I miss your arms wrapped around me

Made me feel safe, warm, integral

Send shivers down my spine again,

From the roots of my hair, to the tips of my toes

I miss your kisses, soft and sweet

Wonderful and fulfilling

Close my eyes, and dream of you lying right beside me,

Again, I'm told, if dreamt twice, a dream comes true

I miss your ambrosial scent

Weak at the knees, I would become,

If you did not hold the weight I so freely give,

Promptly, becoming a slight plash on the floor below your feet

I miss your engaging eyes,

The primary color between green and violet on a color wheel

Ravishing and breathtaking they become,

Slowly they tangle with mine, of similar color

I miss your stunning smile

Indescribable is the feeling I get when the rare occasion appears

Sensitive is the aura which it gushes

This simper of yours creates a rush of blood through my cheeks

I miss forgetting to breathe

I miss the light in my eyes

I miss the laughter

I miss the exhaustion of the next morning;

the surge of emotion;

the adrenaline;

the daydreams;

the madness, and the joy.

I've always known what I wanted.

Always been the kind to give everything that's in me.

My passion, my emotions, my all.

It's not something I regret, and it's not something I can stop.

It's the way I'm made... my insides are torn, not by choice.

What I need right now, is to know I'm worth your time.

To believe in the damage I've done.

Put some weight into this, for my sake.

I need gravity to weigh us down, if that's what you want.

I need something to withstand a storm.

I've always been a substitute person; a world class secondhand serenade.

I always will be the one who isn't worth your time.

The middle person; the hand-me-down; the secondhand rose; the substitute person.

I'll always be a Claire.

"You and I have a special talent, and I saw it immediately"

"Tell me."

"We're the substitute people."

"The substitute people"

"I've been the substitute person my whole life. I'm not an Ellen. I never wanted to be an Ellen; and I'm not a Cindy, either, although Chucks love me."

"I'm sure they do."

"I like being alone too much."

"I mean, I'm with a guy who's married to his academic career. I rarely see him, and I'm the substitute person there. I like it that way. It's a lot less pressure."

-Elizabethtown

Flyleaf-All Around Me

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being

Burning I"m not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me

And you whisper you love me

And I begin to fade

Into our secret place

The music makes me sway

The angels singing say we are alone with you

I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry

The light is white

And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand

I give it to you

Now you own me

All I am

You said you would never leave me

I believe you 

I believe

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healed

Congratulations-Blue October and Imogen Heap

Is that seat taken

Congratulations

Would you like to take a walk with me

My mind it kind of goes fast

I try to slow it down for you

I think I'd love to take a drive

I want to give you something

I've been wanting to give to you for years

My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up

You left me.. hu hu hu hu

My heart won't take this cover up

You left me.. hu hu hu hu

I came to see the light in my best friend

You seemed as happy as you'd ever been

My chance of being open was broken

And now you're Mrs. him

My words they don't come out right

But I'll try to say I'm happy for you

I think I'm going to take that drive

I want to give you something

I've been wanting to give you for years

My hearts

My heart, my pain won't cover up

You left me.. hu hu hu hu

My heart

My heart won't take this cover up

You left me.. hu hu hu hu

And I can't change this

I can never take it back

But now I can't change your mind

(You left me)

And I can't this

I can never take this back

But now I can't change your mind

can't change your mind

(You left me)

Can't change your mind

(You left me, you left me, you left me, you left me)

Go away

Make it go away

Please

"Don't don't don't don't, don't you go anywhere..." -Lakes

I'm not sure if you could fully understand, and I don't know if you ever will. I can certainly try to tell you... I do. I absolutely adore having you in my life. I love being around you. I honestly don't care if all we do is sit and stare at each-other.... that'd probably bring about some giggles, at least from my end. You're great. Different from anyone I've ever even considered being in like with. You understand the fact that music is the second most important thing that exists. You get the fact that while words speak, actions speak louder. I don't feel like I have to explain things... which is awesome, because I've never had that before with anyone... even my best of friends. It's amazing that I can feel this happy again. I hope it lasts, because life should be happy, and there should be gladness in this cold heart that I have had recently.

"I think I was blind before I met you."

-Bright Eyes

Tested and True-Secondhand Serenade

Superstitions aren't meant for lovers

Under covers, undiscovered is your skin

I am lonely, please let me in

You're probably wondering what I was proving

Are you choosing?

Am I losing you tonight?

Is it over, over?

Are we fading?

I never wanted anything the way that I want you

But my words don't seem to matter

My words don't seem to matter

And you look at me and I can see

The lies you're running to

But my words don't seem to matter

I'd rather have you tested and true

Now you've had your chance

So let's try my way, it's my day

To show you what you're missing, turn around

And feel the winds of change upon your face again

The warm breath of your closest friend

I'm waiting, I'm waiting

Are we fading?

I never wanted anything the way that I want you

But my words don't seem to matter

My words don't seem to matter

And you look at me and I can see

The lies you're running to

But my words don't seem to matter

I'd rather have you tested and true

I'm scared we'll fall apart tonight

Under the moonlight

Under the moonlight

I'm scared we'll never make it right

Under the moonlight

Under the moonlight

Take my hand and hold it tight

I never wanted anything the way that I want you

but my words don't seem to matter

My words don't seem to matter

And you look at me and I can see

The lies you're running to

But my words don't seem to matter

I'd rather have you tested and true

(Are we fading out?)

Bright Eyes-No Lies, Just Love

It's in the march of the winter I turned seventeen

That I bought those pills

I thought I would need

And I wrote a letter to my family

Said it's not your fault

And you've been good to me

Just lately I've been feeling

Like I don't belong

Like the ground's not mine

To walk upon

And I've heard that music

Echo through the house

Where my grandmother drank

By herself

And I sat watching a flower

As it was withering

I was embarrassed by its honesty

So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face

Not this fucking wreck

That's taken its place

So please forgive what I have done

No you can't stay mad at the setting sun

Cause  we al get tired, I mean eventually

There is nothing left to do but sleep

But spring came bearing sunlight

Those persuasive rays

So I gave myself a few more days

My salvation it came, quite suddenly 

When Justin spoke very plainly

He said, "Of course it's your decision,

But just so you know,

If you decide to leave,

Soon I will follow."

I wrote this for a baby,

Who has yet to be born,

My brother's first child, 

I hope that womb's not too warm

Cause it's cold out here

And it will be quite a shock, 

To breathe this air,

To discover loss

So I'd like to make some changes,

Before you arrive,

So when your new eyes meet mine,

They won't see no lies, 

Just love,

Just love

I will be pure, 

No, no, I will be pure

Like snow,

Like gold,

Like snow, 

Like gold,

Like snow,

Like snow,

Like gold,

Like gold,

Like gold...

You're a world class SOB.

A complete mess of a person, if you could call you human.

You gouged out my heart with a melon scooper.

You took it along for the ride.

You wrapped my breath around your pinky finger.

If you had said jump, that's what I would have done.

You are an ass.

A mistake.

Absolutely the dumbest genius I have ever met.

I won't understand, you're right.

No one will.

Shutting people out is how you roll.

It doesn't matter how others feel to you... not at all.

Self-centered.

Egotistical.

Consumed by yourself, but I was consumed by you.

I wish I could hate you, but all I can do is love you without a thing in return.

The Spill Canvas-One Thing Is For Sure

There are things in this world
That I don't understand
Like love, war, gravity
Or the lay of the land
But all of these, remain mysteries
One thing is for sure
You are worth living for.

Sometimes when I'm far away from you
I get a little lost, a little out of my element
I miss the way your body burns
When we melt alone.

There are things in this world
That I don't understand
Like love, war, gravity
Or the lay of the land
But all of these, remain mysteries
One thing is for sure
You are worth living for.

Sometimes when I let my mind run free
It never fails and it goes right to you
And a smile takes a hold of me
I've missed the way your body burns
When we melt alone.

There are things in this world
That I don't understand
Like love, war, gravity
Or the lay of the land
But all of these, remain mysteries
One thing is for sure
You are worth living for.

There are things in this world
That I don't understand
Like love, war, gravity
Or the lay of the land
But all of these, remain mysteries
One thing is for sure
You are worth living for

I feel as if I've turned into more than just someone who believes in love. I fell in and out of it, yet again, and this time, my hurt is something not yet comprehendable. It's as if I got so used to being around; so used to sitting, waiting, wishing, that I can't feel anymore. I can't possibly describe to you the logic of what I have done to myself... my heart. It quite possibly left the day my mind did; packed up and walked away, just as he did. I don't quite know if knowing someone can't love you as much as you love them should hurt this much. It shouldn't feel this way. It was all over long before those words were said. I assume my disbelief is what slowly began to creep away the night he said those four words. It would be nice to have a release; not one comes to mind, because it all has a consequence. You would think the right thing would feel better than this.

Wild Is The Wind-Cat Power

Love me, love me, say you do
Let me fly away with you
We are creatures of the wind
Wild is the wind

Give me more than one caress
Satisfy this hungriness
We are creatures of the wind
Wild is the wind

You touch me,
I hear the sound of mandolins, baby,
You kiss me,
With your kiss, my life begins

Like a leaf clings to a tree
Baby, please cling to me
We are creatures of the wind
Wild is the wind

You touch me,
I hear the sound of mandolins,
and you kiss me,
With your kiss my life begins

Love me, love me, say you do,
Let me fly away with you

It's with a heavy heart that I take on the world today
You have a way about you that I can't quite feel
Holding my breath at arms length,
you continuously intertwine my fragile being
around your fingers
I've played all my cards, games over now
Throw at me what you may;
the hurricane you say lies ahead
I'm here for the long run;
I will stay to weather this storm
No one fills the air around me like you do
The light you continuously exude,
even through the darkness that blinds you
It binds me to you, strangely,
in an endless symphony of notes and emotions,
sprawled onto paper like a sea of ants,
unsure of which way is up
I can't seem to cry over you,
so I cry for you,
in front of you.

Let It Rain-Tilly and the Wall

"Get into the groove boy you've got to prove your love to me"
Played on the radio as we drove down south to see our families
You were lying there in the passenger chair sound asleep
I could recall a time when evenings were bright and thick with love
And all the city streets and their lights they were so mysterious
Oh life it was so wonderful it would shine just like fire
How we sat on the backs of our cars and laughed into the morning
I thought you'd come and go
I never thought you would stay
And I'm sorry if I tried to push you away
But the edges they fold and you suddenly find you are buried beneath
A blanket of snow you had no idea was even falling
Now you're sitting on a couch inside your home feeling cold
Nothing is clear, all your thoughts they have become so hard to find
With a question mark always slumped at the end of these awkward lines
All the simple words we loved to speak are no longer audible
And I never thought with you and I this would be possible
I can feel the world coming apart
And I need you by my side with your delicate heart
So please don't leave me no don't you run
Don't be frightened by the storm so bold and brave
Just let it rain

The Immensity of Lachrymal Activities

It is amazing how numb I have become
I am awestruck at how happy I can be, as well
When you don't have to worry about loss
Even for a second, when no thought turns there
Maybe loss makes you stronger,
and maybe peace, love, and happiness are the hardest things to find,
Just a smile might take a lifetime to discover,
A search for one true love may never be found.

So we find contentment in other things,
Items that disappear in the end,
The infinite details being too difficult to inquire about,
Would anyone care to throw it all away for something immeasurable,
Something boundless and yet, so beautifully obligatory,
It quite possibly could be something non-existent,
A technicality that one could spend a lifetime on a picaresque venture searching for it.

It makes me cry.
It makes me weep in monumental heaves.
I don't cry.

Just a little hint as to what's going on in my life:

Lost the boy I was supposed to be dating. He refused to talk to me for a month out of the sheer blue. He acted like I was invisible and treated me like dirt when I did absolutely nothing but try and be there for him. Now that he is talking to me, he never apologized for what he did and tends to act as if nothing happened. He still treats me like I'm insignificant. Lost my best friend... or at least I thought she was my best friend. She wrote me a letter telling me ever way she hated me. P.S. They were all things that are either over with, or things I couldn't help. (Things such as where I go to school, my singing ability, what I look like, and my extracurricular activities... Not to mention who I date, which, I can help to a point, but she rehashed them after they had ended in this letter) This also was out of the blue. She also never apologized, but instead, claimed, "I meant to throw that away." Did I mention she didn't say any of this to my face, but she wrote it in a letter and pinned it to one of my pictures in my room for me to find almost two weeks later. This explains her ditching me the other day. My mom tells me I do nothing at all to help the family, when all I did yesterday was take my sister places and pick her up and all I did today was do chores. She tells me I'm lazy and I don't act like a member of the family. She says that I should volunteer to do the things I do, instead of her asking me. (Like I would know what they were if she didn't ask me) She says I should get a job. She says my music is too sad to be performed. She says I hate my sister and say mean things to her all the time, when my sister's the one saying that I'm dumb and weird, making fun of me, and not thanking me for taking her places when I certainly have better things I could be doing.

Just a little insight to what's going on.
I tend to wonder more and more these days, what would happen if I drove off a bridge.
So I'm glad you other people can be happy.
Maybe you could share a little insight with me on how to do that.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe

I'm Not Meant To Be A Wallflower

I sit behind this piano, cold and broken hearted, singing songs of lost love and aching of the souls of many. It may take what seems like a ceaseless number of years to understand me, but I would hope it is worth the while. I don't know where I am going and whether or not I will have a plan tomorrow. I know not what you meant when you left me... Stranded, without explanation. It wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last. I know for sure that my rational mind tells me that I shouldn't have followed. It's not like I had the strength to carry out what it told me. You left me out of breath when you walked away. It hurt more than you knew I could hurt. A clean break, you said... For protection, you said. What you don't know is that protection means nothing to me. It never has. I've never been one to protect myself. Now that my heart is guarded, I might never find one to break its chains. It would be a miracle. I can see myself being one of independence within the walls of my tentative quintessence. It is my only wish in life to find love, being it the true kind. I'm not sure it exists anymore. I've had countless people tell me that my one ambition is a lost cause and if what I want is authentic, bona fide, without a doubt, head over heals, unassailable, unfeigned, constant, valid, genuine, heartfelt, devoted, resolute, veracious love, l'amour, de liefde, l'amore. The kind that makes you sick, the kind where time stops, the kind where you just know, the kind that makes you see stars, the kind that makes you get intoxicated by the sight of them. I see it now as something that I can dream about, but never have. If that means I end up alone in an apartment with a Great Dane named Bob, then so be it. I won't put up with fake stuff. I want it more than you can know. My heart longs for it. If it's impossible to reach, I don't want to try anymore. I'll give up. No matter how strong I tell you I am.

"I hope you like your pictures facing down.
As even broken hearts may have their doubts

And I'm burning all the letters
Hoping that I might forget him and his bad taste
That he left when he was leaving me
A life of barely breathing as he walked
Out of this place"

-MayDay Parade

My heart is bruised and lying on the ground.
At least bruises heal.

I tried my best to leave this song on your machine...

I can honestly say that I hope love is more than what I've found,
If not... life as I know it is as well as over, for me...
And one other, that I know of.

You run through my mind like an unknowingly unloaded gun.
I'm truly terrified.

Why-Secondhand Serenade

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?
To me, to me, to me.

Play

As gravity plays games with my heart,
My heart unfolds tricks on my mind

I don't want to put up with the madness,
The insanity that surrounds you

The ins and outs of romance,
The unforgiving sport of courtship

Consider the hearts at rest,
The ones that search and never find

Maybe we'll be fortunate to be one of these,
No matter how hard we dream for the counter.

Good Woman-Cat Power

I want to be a good woman
And I want, for you to be a good man.
This is why I will be leaving
And this is why, I can’t see you no more.
I will miss your heart so tender
And I will love
This love forever

I don’t want be a bad woman
And I can’t stand to see you be a bad man
I will miss your heart so tender
And I will love
This love forever
And this is why I am leaving
And this is why I can’t see you no more
This is why I am lying when I say
That I don’t love you no more

Cause I want to be a good woman
And I want for you to be a good man

I can't refuse to go to sleep,
but I musn't stay awake
I decidedly immerse myself in the nights we shared
Save the blade for someone
Who's skin can take the pain...
Unlike my own.

I've got a pounding headache and a heavy,
reeling heart full of pain
my desire is short,
but my soul longs for it,
the desire that comes ever so regretfully.

Let's throw away our life together
As we all become silhouettes of what we used to be

The Last Time He Saw Dorie

I would like to say for his sake that the last time he saw Dorie was after his mind collapsed. As the rest of us know, it was at that very moment that his heart was broken in two pieces, or a million in his finite mind. They seemingly crashed to the floor one by one, with no one there to catch them. I stood there as if there was nothing I could do. If I felt as if there was something to be done at that point, I would have acted upon it. Yet, I stood there, like the fool I now realize I am, and stared. As he collapsed on the floor in two hundred different pieces, some more whole than others, he wept. In all my years of knowing Oliver, which is a good many, I have never seen him cry. Not once did I see him shed a tear. Many times I would have liked to say I saw a slight misty-eyed gaze, but deep down, I knew it was only my fantasies running away with me. He crumbled like someone had pierced him in the stomach with a double edged sword. She had disappeared. She was gone. What he told me that hurt the most, was that she never knew. He had never told her. Cliche, I know, but the night she ended her wreck of a life, he loved her. Why he loved her, one will never know. He claimed it was for her beauty, inside and out, yet we never saw it. God only knows what truly made him love her. Maybe it was that she was a wreck. He felt the impulse to rescue the damsel in distress. He was a wreck as well, so the knight in shining armor was never his stage to dance upon. He said, "I didn't want to stay." He didn't. He left her because nothing in his head truly made sense anymore. It all convulged, diverged into something that he soon realized would only be understood by Dorie. That is why when he found her, when he saw her for the last time, when she ended it all for the world, he splintered.
Cracked.
Crumbled.
Fragmentized.
Dissolved.

He's in love with tragedy,
in love with tragedy
She was a wreck, but he loved her
She was a wreck, but so was he
And the last time he saw Dorie,
he didn't know what to say but

"Thank you because you loved me,
it's all on me cause I didn't want to stay,
I didn't want to stay..."

"Live, live, live because you love, love, love
And love will make you give, give, give
And give in when you break, break, break
But you just want to fix yourself
Just to break again..." She said.

"Ask me if I'm sick and I would lie, I'm a mess, I'll tell you 'bout it later..." -Modern Skirts

"You turned your eyes to me, I felt it all..." -Sea Wolf

"It's what you didn't say that told me I'd get hurt again..." -I Nine

There's a burden in my chest that ceases not towards me
My cares it does not take upon itself
Nor does it yield to burning pains

A fire in my gut has started yearning
The being of becoming self has withered
And still the shame of loss haunts me

It moves in slow meanders as it creeps in towards my head
Its quiet footsteps weigh upon my mind
Yet whatever has become inside me cries

"Mercy," my poor heart screams, "Mercy to us all..."
"Careful, dear, my wholeness may be shattered."
Then, one by one, the pieces start to fall

As the short lived downfall's darkness falls on me
My face begins to crumble, carefully
(of course, ne'er does he notice...warily)

It's A Sad Day In Baltimore When There's A Slow Death In Carolina

If you take a part of your wearisome road,
You could place it at my feet
And I'll slowly become a part of you,
Just before it's too late.

Our paths would merge and fork,
It would transform into a beautiful mirage
If only you would walk the streets at night,
Under the light from an eclipsed red moon.

Our hearts have been broken,
When the lights have faded
Take a look inside,
We've become outspoken and unadored.

It's left to a footnote of my love for you,
A meager wrinkle in the span of a lifetime
The time has come to part in seperate ways, love,
Yet, it won't last long enough.

I've watched my heart cry piece by piece
As the minutes on the clock tick by
Light my tears on fire to hide the loss
Little by little, it all becomes whole again.

Your False Faces and Your Outlandish Truths

Give it to me straight for once
Without the fake smiles and the lies

Our world has become one big false sphere
It's full of all your lies

Maybe it's outlandish to think someone would
Speak the truth for a second, maybe shorter

Peering towards the past and asking
"What has this become"

It's something resembling multiple personality disorder
But we seem to all have that at times

Would it be too much to ask for honesty?
Is it something too difficult to provide?

It's not like you couldn't be who you are all the time
It's not nearly as hard as it sounds

Are we too hung up on acceptance
Does popularity ring a bell?

My Checkered Vans

It's not like me to worry about things
Especially when they don't concern me
It's a wonder why I cared so much
Only if it pertained to your safety
Maybe it's something to be thought over
Maybe not so much

It would be nice to think you are different
It's nice to know you are that person
Not a doormat
Not an arrogant male
But the person I always wished I could be
Afraid of Nothing

You really could sneak into my window
Tonight if you wish
It would be worth all that distance you speak of
I promise to make it worth what you came for
Not that it would be a challenge
I just long to see your smile.

You're my hour... it will come.

Fallen (lyrics)

I don't know where up is
Probably up, if not down

If we become silhouettes
How come I feel so alive

I'm spinning in circles
And begin to realize

You have my heart,
It's held in your hands,
I'm falling again,
You help me stand

I'm coming around to you,
You've made up my mind,
I'm falling in deep with you,
And the stars are aligned,
The stars are aligned.

I'll Find My Way Without Consent

Difference is indispensable
Duplicating becomes negligible

Shadows are never cookie-cutter
Sparse light refracts in your eyes

I have changed tonight
It is not something explained

But if we stand here
If we merely stand here

Our thoughts will begin intermingling
Over simplicity in verses

Thoughts full of rhyme
To plainly see what we became

Shot in the dark here
Surely we have become more important

But if we haven't
It won't be the end, dear

Endings will come nonetheless
Everything fading into a dingy mess

Pick up the pieces they tell me
Plan your cessation

Choose your dreams
Catch yourself before you fall

Rambles of texts and lines
Regurgitation of mouth

I stop here knowing not what else
It's not as if I have finished

Worry not about my independence
Worry not about my wellbeing

I will be fine on my own.

Heart, We Will Forget Him-Emily Dickinson

Heart, we will forget him,

You and I, tonight!

You must forget the warmth he gave,

I will forget the light.

-

When you have done pray tell me,

Then I, my thoughts, will dim.

Haste! ‘lest while you’re lagging

I may remember him!

My Fitted Façade

I wish I had someone to converse with
To get my thoughts from the paper
Out of my head, and into your mind.

I have been told we become cameo views
Silhouetted against the wallpaper
Passed down through generations
Of people who no longer understand it.

A sheer commodity would be nice for a change
To be something more than an anachronism
To be something more than what you've seen.

Vices can only be misunderstandings
Finding dependence in our downfall
Aspiration in our imperfection
Rapture in such vulnerability.

Sure I find an accomplishment
My regret is only for your reflected mortality
It only goes so far as the ocean.

The effervescence has washed away
Our light became discolored
Bleached memories through window panes
Glassy likenesses beginning to fade.

My amended façade is changing
Becoming something less adapted
Maybe better
At least that's what 'they' say.

"Beauty-be not caused-It Is" -Emily Dickinson

Beauty—be not caused—It Is—
Chase it, and it ceases—
Chase it not, and it abides—

Overtake the Creases

In the Meadow—when the Wind
Runs his fingers thro' it—
Deity will see to it
That You never do it—

"He fumbles at your spirit" -Emily Dickinson

He fumbles at your spirit
As players at the keys
Before they drop full music on;
He stuns you by degrees,

Prepares your brittle substance
For the ethereal blow,
By fainter hammers, further heard,
Then nearer, then so slow

Your breath has time to straighten,
Your brain to bubble cool,
--Deals one imperial thunderbolt
That scalps your naked soul.

I'll Let You Know

The cracks in my ceiling
Create in me a cameo view
Your face is hidden there
I'll extract the thoughts

I've become so ill
Ill of seeing your world
Collapse beneath your feet
It's going to turn up

You don't see the light
You tried to warn me
I will continue to return
Unfortunately, I'll keep it up

Surely you're gonna find me
Stuck inside your veins
Discover joy within you
Show that fact off again

I did it all for you
Yesterday has become home
The pastiche of you and I
It's organized itself out
There's no closure here
Show me the ending of
That privelage I deserved today

If your brown eyes come running
Back to me they return
If you still need me here
I'll let you know where to
Go from there.

Untitled {Short Story, Work In Progress}

I

Sure, she was free. That is what her finite mind told her. In the simplest measurements, her boxed-in life of childish schemes was no longer what her feelings followed. "Feelings strictly should not be what you rely on," she told herself. The derivation of the teenage antics behind her came from nothing but emotion. She felt as if from nothing but emotion. She felt as if this most certainly should not be the case. Feigning a sense of gratitutde within herself, she rose from her pose beneath the sheets of her bed and slowly meandered towards the chamber door. Albert made a dash at heel,
"Albert, darling, this is not the time to be smitten in favor of my Achilles tendon."

"Your Achilles tendon is of no further interest to me, contrary to popular belief, cats hear affection only to other cats, not to humans."

"Oh, goulash, you smelly feline."

Albert had a terrible case of the Wednesdays. It was unusual for him to be in a vile mood today, yet he continued to mope around the apartment as if someone had accidentally crammed cat nip up his small, tail-covered derrière. She would no longer put up with his morning capers. She stole to the kitchenette and pured Albert a fresh bowl of food. As suddenly as the last piece of sustinence hit the glass bowl, Albert and his satire began to make a turn around. It was almost gay the way he perched on the arm rest following breakfast. She sat on the vintage sofa as she awaited the ring of the coffee maker signaling the start of her morning.

"Albert, baby, you really should consider it a part of your routine beginning at the crack of dawn to decide to be nice for once when I lift my head from the pillow."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, I feed you and clean your shit from the box every day."

Albert jeered; the coffee pot rang. Sniveling she straightened her legs and skipped to the counter to receive a cup of black coffee. She then reached for the Godiva and shoved a sixteenth of a bar into the mug. Turning up the volume on the stereo and placing her Queen compact disc in the slot, she mosied to her closet door.

II

"Honey, I just don't think it's right for Linley to become numb to everything but his downs kids."

"What do you mean? He only had to have a parent teacher conference this morning, so he couldn't walk with you to Kitson. Don't get yourself worked up over nothing. Just be glad you're not Britney, or better yet K-Fed. It'll pass, that won't."

"Kassandra, dear, watch the curb."

Kassandra stumbled off the curb in her purple Mary Janes as she flagged a taxi. Odetta climbed into the taxi after Kassandra and decided it was best just to listen to her friends mindless celebrity gossip.

"O.M.G. Jess, the hoe, was in the store yesterday, and I talked her our of buying these horrendous bangles. Shit, they were awful. I can't believe she even considered them. She's truly a dumb blonde. I totally can't believe it..."

Odetta only halfway listened to Kassandra's babbling. It had become a regular routine for her to question the few reasons why she was friends with Kassandra in the first place. They were completely opposite people. It often times became apparent that Kassandra was more like her child than truly her friend, despite the fact that they were exactly the same age give or take only a few days.

Besides the fact that there used to not be a Kitson store located in New York City, Kassandra had started one. It had been a huge endeavor and had involved too much time and less needed pain. Odetta had always thought that if Kassandra had not been consumed by "her" Kitson, she might be slightly more sane. Nonetheless, Kassandra had taken on responsibility of the store and it's many prospects. Their friendship had then become a mother-daughter relationship involving many sleepless nights of weeping and chocolate ice cream. Kassandra, of course, was the child and usually ate most of the ice cream by herself while being held and wiped of her many hot tears of anxiety. When the store was finally started and the business confusion settled, Kassandra and her "mother," Odetta, began to drift from eachother, not so much in distance, but in heart. Kassandra never seemed to realize this fact, which could be said of many relationships one might involve themself in.

They neared their block and the taxi swiftly halted. Kassandra threw a wad of cash at his face and nearly jumped out the door and onto the curb. Odetta followed her and they began to trek towards Kitson. Kassandra had been chatting away, mostly to herself, the entire way, never minding if a question was not answered or a comment not made, for she talked much too often anyway. Odetta knew she would ne'er get a word in, so her mind began to drift once again. They stepped in the front entrance of the shop and Kassandra was immediately bombarded with people and their questions. No matter how much she would deny it, Kassandra loved the attention. She thrived on it and had her whole life. Odetta knew this, and couldn't possibly oblige to these needs. She had decided long ago in her relationship with Kassandra that she would not give her the attention that she wanted ever so terribly. Kassandra didn't mind mostly; she blew it off as being "just the way she is," when she knew somewhere in her heart that it was intentional for Odetta to act this way. Still, through their many downfalls, they remained dependent on eachother for most things.

Odetta slowly faded into the background and eventually decided to slip out and head back to her apartment to sulk over Linley and achieve her daily task of trying to come up with some sort of creativity.

Novel {Untitled and a Work In Progress}

Preface:

Love is described in many ways, but to put it simply, Love is the object of attachment, attachment is the object of attraction, and attraction is the force which combines two things. Therefore, love is a force. A force that is so strong, it causes even the wisest men to be dumbfounded and speechless and the strongest of women to become weak at the knees at even the thought of being in his arms.



Chapter 1.

"Five more minutes,"

her mother yelled from the bottom of the staircase too cheerfully to ever be sincere. As she listened from her hot red painted bedroom, Sophie could see her mother's smile fade from her face as the reality of her daughter's departure began to sink into her mind.

"Be down here in two minutes!"

she yelled less cheerfully now. Sophie listened carefully for her mother's faded black pumps to click across the clean, polished hardwood floors towards the kitchen. Sophie then slammed her suitcase shut and zipped the sides without tenderness. She slung her green messenger bag over her shoulder and lifted her other luggage from off the crisp black and white comfortor that covered her bed that was too large for only one person. As she rolled her suitcase clumsily towards the door, she took one final glance around the scarlet walls and finally reached the door. With much difficulty, she turned the knob and stepped through the frame. As she struggled through the doorway, her plain brown rolling suitcase bumped the edge of the door and fell on its side, dumping all of her belongings on the soft grey carpet. Sophie heard a gentle chuckle from down the hallway.

"Like out of a movie,"

her brother voiced, his blue eyes sparkling with the laughter that filled the air. Taking his time, he meandered across the floor to his sister's side to help with the newly created mess.

"If I'm not down those stairs in less than a half a second, and counting, Mom will eat me alive with a fake grin on her face."

"Haha,"

Joseph smiled,

"That was classic, I'll have to take it on a loan sometime."

"Sorry, it's copyrighted,"

Sophie retorted.

"Well, okay then,"

Joseph replied, knowing she was only kidding, for he knew his sibling all too well. As Joseph helped his sister up from her crouched stance, he stole the handle of her bag and took off down the stairwell. Sophie had always been envious of her brother's fluidity and grace, a trait that Sophie herself hadn't inherited.



She followed him down the steps with her other bag over her shoulder. Her red Chuck Taylor's squeaked on the second stair from the bottom, just as always. Sophie remembered her junior prom when she tripped in her high heels and gown on that step and had landed in her date's arms. Little instances that are amazingly embarrassing, thus utterly unforgettable. What Sophie didn't realize was that she had been standing almost perfectly still at the bottom of the stairwell staring at the second step for longer than normal. When she looked up from her daydream, her three other family memebers were standing in the foyer with annoyed looks on their perfect faces.

"Sorry,"

she said shyly staring down at her Converse covered feet.

"Let's just get this over with,"

her father said. With a glance only to her elder brother's smiling face, Sophie stepped out the front door and out to her brother's black Jeep Grand Cherokee. She had always loved her brother's car. It smelled of his cologne and smoke from a former owner. It had always been a comfortable place to go where she could just breathe. Joseph took Sophie virtually wherever she needed to go if she didn't want to be alone. Sophie and her brother had always been so close. Maybe it was because they liked the same music, or that they had practically the same brainwaves, but it was probably because they both were so different from their parents and felt that if they weren't with eachother, they might become someone whom they wouuld never want to be, just as their fake, confused parents had. Joseph had always been the more beautiful of the two, more fluid as well, but they both could be considered good-looking. Sophie was talented in the arts, while Joseph in athletics, but somehow, they clicked with an indescribable love. Joseph, along with his parents, followed Sophie out to the car. With ease, Joseph lifted his sister's suitcase and placed it in the trunk and slammed the hatch closed. Sophie stood leaning against the driver's door, waiting for the moment she had been looking forward to all summer. Her mother took a step towards Sophie and gave her a meaningless hug and kiss. As skilled of an actress as her mother was to most, Sophie knew better than to believe her sign of affection. Next, her father took a long, fluid slide towards his daughter and cradled her in his arms. Again this hug was meaningless in Sophie's eyes.
"Bye, honey,"
each of her parents said one bye one,
"We love you."
"Bye,"
Sophie said,
"Love you too."
Joseph walked around the car from his stance behind the Jeep and stepped over beside his sister and took the same position leaning against the driver's door that Sophie had held a minute ago.
"You ready?"
he asked, smiling.
"Yes,"
Sophie replied, returning the smile. They both climbed into the car, Sophie in the passenger's seat, Joseph in the driver's position. Joseph backed his black car out of the driveway and rolled down the street. Neither of them waved or even looked back. Joseph knew how glad his sister was to go to college. He had felt the same way graduating high school with a scholarship to the college that he preferred. A college that was close to home, but not close enough to stay at home. Joseph attempted to strike up a conversation.
"So, you excited?"
"I'm just happy to finally get out of that house,"
Sophie replied.
"I know the feeling..."
Joseph said. They had hours ahead of them, and yet, there wasn't much to talk about; nothing that interested them enough to pursue for a conversation, for that matter.

They would arrive at La Guardia Airport with just enough time to eat a quick lunch and get through the security procedures. They had decided earlier, at home, that they were going to eat Subway because it was another one of those many things that Joseph and Sophie had in common, but their parents didn't always agree with them on. They decided to go through security first and following those typical procedures, eat in the down time while waiting for the plane to arrive and unload. Besides, the Subway was beyond the metal detectors. Of course, when Sophie and her brother arrived at the front of La Guardia, there was a lengthy line of people waiting to check their bags, inside as well as outside. Just their luck.
"Damnit. Damnit. Damnit to hell,"
Joseph cursed. Sophie was reminded of the first time Joseph had cursed in front of her. To say the least, Sophie had her brother placed slightly lower in her 5th grade eyes that day. He rarely used unbecoming words, but when it came down to the more frusterating moments of life, it seemed as if some words can not describe a situation better.
"Time to stand in line. Inside or out, you choose. *cough* Inside! *cough*"
"Hmm... It's such a beautiful day... I think some fresh smog filled air in my lungs would do me good... Ou..."
"Inside it is!"
Joseph interrupted. He eyed the valet and said,
"I won't be too long, no more than trois hours,"
he said holding up three fingers and flipping him a twenty.

Sacrifices

Him: "Why?" he asked

Her: "Only for you"
her response
lying on his bed

Him: "I would have told you except
for that little di I know
your love for me"

Her: "Only for you"

"Away!" she said,
"Never again will I cry for you,
and only for you!"

Out the door he escaped
leaving with everything but a knife
On the piano she fell

Her: "Only for you"

Him: "Never again, "
he said
"Could I so deeply desire one,
Idiot, she's alone for you,
only for you."

"My Life had stood - a Loaded Gun" -Emily Dickinson

My Life had stood - a Loaded Gun -
In Corners - till a Day
The Owner passed - identified -
And carried Me away -

And now We roam in Sovereign Woods -
And now We hunt the Doe -
And every time I speak for Him -T
he Mountains straight reply -

And do I smile, such cordial light
Upon the Valley glow -
It is as a Vesuvian face
Had let its pleasure through -

And when at Night - Our good Day done -
I guard My Master's Head -'
Tis better than the Eider-Duck's
Deep Pillow - to have shared -

To foe of His - I'm deadly foe -
None stir the second time -
On whom I lay a Yellow Eye -
Or an emphatic Thumb -

Though I than He - may longer live
He longer must - than I -
For I have but the power to kill,
Without--the power to die--