I miss you terribly. I know you're one of the reasons I'm incapable of finding joy. It's amazing how one person can be son incredibly life changing. I know you're searching... aren't we all. I mean seriously, if everything went the way we wished it would, life would be so boring. I just wish that sometimes, when things are more important to you than breathing air, we would get what we wanted. God has a plan. I know that. I just wish I knew what his plan was and how he was going to use me. Then again,  it goes back to the fact that life would be boring if we knew what was going to happen. 

Would you come back please? I need you in my life more than I can possibly tell you. You are integral to my sanity. I wish I was strong enough to do what's right. I wish I knew what was right. If you come back for good, I promise I'll be here. I always have been and always will be here for you. I'm not any more than what I've been all along. I've just been run through a meat grinder.